Love & Sex

SEX WITH (OR WITHOUT) LOVE.
If you love someone you always want to hear some special words from that person. These words are “I love you.” And you feel wonderful hearing them! There are people for whom love is separate from sex, which is something connected with lust, attraction and physical pleasure. If you want to have a happy sex life and serious relations, you need to define all those things for yourself. Your sex life will greatly depend on the decision you make, whether you will be faithful or you will have just sex with no commitments. For some people love and sex are inseparable, while for others these are completely different things. All this depends on what you want out of your sex life and how you personally define love.

WHEN AND HOW TO EXPRESS YOUR LOVE.
Sometimes it is very difficult to define what love means for you and it is even more difficult to express your feelings. You might get into relationships and try to guess if you should say “I love you” before your partner says this. Or should you sign your e-mail letters or just cards wit love-words. There is a certain risk of telling your partner about love before he or she does, because it might not be mutual. If your love is not reciprocal, it is a painful feeling and therefore, think hard and decide if what you feel is really love before you make such a pronouncement.

If you feel sure that your love-expression will be positively accepted, one of the ways to say it is to write a letter. It is one of the most romantic ways to become closer to someone and to express your feelings.

Here are some tips for composing a love letter:

Make it romantic, personal and from the heart.
Write what you really feel and in the way you talk, do not try to sound like a “writer”
Focus on the person to whom you're writing. That will help you express your true feelings.
Express why this person brings meaning into your life.
Don't be afraid to use words such as forever, everlasting, passion, together, devotion, fulfillment, and love.
Try to write your own thoughts, but you might use some famous quotations as well.
Write it on a romantic card or stationery.

It may seem scaring first to express your love, but you should not be afraid to say, write and (the most important) to show your love to the other person. If your feelings are reciprocal and the person you love feels the same, you both will know this and you will be happy to be together. If that person does not respond to your love, it will give you a sign that it is better to keep your feelings until he or she gets some feelings for you or you will find someone else and give all your love to him or her.

FROM ATTRACTION TO LOVE AND SEX.
When you get acquainted with a person, it takes you some time to define if you are interested in him or her. Probably, you will be interested in seeing each other again if that initial attraction was strong enough. This first attraction is mostly physical, but you may want to see each other again due to some social and intellectual reasons.

Hence you went through physical attraction, you spend time together, talk and try to define if your lifestyle, life values and interests coincide. This is the time to decide if that person you were attracted to will be a good partner for you. But be careful at this time. People say that love can be blind; then lust is surely blind. You may overlook some qualities you find important in a person. Thus, you must be very honest first of all to yourself and decide what the kind of person this man or woman is and how he or she would seem to you if you opened your eyes wider and did not look at him or her with lust.

Therefore, when you have got to know each other during the certain period of time (several days or months), and attraction is still present, there you have come to the point to determine what roles you will play in each other’s lives. It means that if one of you wants just sex without commitments, it will not last long. But if your perspectives are the same, you have a chance to build a strong sexual partnering.